The Best Gifts to Bring to Your Thanksgiving Host or Hostess’ Home

You’ve scored an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. So what’s the etiquette as a guest? Besides arriving on time (or within an acceptable window of time if you know how they roll), there’s another factor that makes itself apparent as soon as you ring the doorbell: the host or hostess gift. Please don’t arrive empty handed. Your hosts have spent a lot of time and effort planning this dinner and probably a bunch of money. And let’s avoid causing more stress than joy with your gift.

An Expert Weighs In

As a professional dinner party planner, chef, visual artist, and social media and marketing consultant based in New York City, Stephanie Nass is often on both sides of the dinner party scene.

In 2014, Nass founded Victory Club, a bi-monthly dinner club in which each member brings a friend to gather in galleries, museums, and other art collections for sit-down meals. Her art-inspired dinners have popped all over the world and have been featured in Food & Wine as well as Town & Country magazines. Nicknamed “Chefanie,” Nass also designs vegan, gluten-free, shelf-stable cake sheets, called Chefanie Sheets, and she shares entertaining tips with major brands from Vogue to Tory Burch.

Courtesy of Stephanie Nass

Nass reveals to Chowhound her best tips and biggest faux pas for Thanksgiving gift-giving.

First off, if you’re stressing too much about the gift, go with the basics: wine, candy, flowers, or candles. It’s about the gesture, really. “The only thing customary about gifts at Thanksgiving is bringing one,” Nass says, but “wine is reliable because the Thanksgiving meal is so predictable; it’s easy to pair a wine with any of the classic dishes.”

Being a good listener is the key to being a good gift-giver, she says. “Listen to what the host wants or needs. Maybe it’s something practical; maybe it’s something superfluous,” Nass says. After that, you can make your gift more unique by adding a personal touch or customization. That could be as simple as tying a pretty ribbon with a festive bauble on the neck of the wine bottle, or wrapping the candle in beautiful paper for a dramatic effect.

There’s hope if you’re short on dough (pun intended)—something homemade is always the go-to affordable gift. Nass brings a dessert, usually one of her Chefanie Sheets cakes, and sometimes she customizes it for the occasion to make it more personal.

Chefanie Sheets

As a hostess, Nass treasures a thoughtful card, with or without a gift. “I treasure the letters people have written me,” she says. “Notes endure after the flowers have wilted, the wine is drunk, and only a few crumbs from the pie remain.”

Hedgehog Thank You Card, $3.62 on Etsy

A cute card like this one from Bitter Lime Designs with a heartfelt note is never a bad idea.

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Try to Avoid These Dinner Guest Mistakes

Don’t upstage the host and his or her work. Basically, don’t bring dinner or any part of it, unless the host explicitly asks you for it, Nass says.

Don’t bring something that you, not the host, want.

Don’t bring untrimmed flowers. The host will be busy with enough other things, so if you bring flowers, bring them arranged in a vase.

Don’t bring an extra guest without asking. The host has given thought and attention to the table setting, and another guest throws a wrench into the event.

Host & Hostess Gift Ideas

Still need help? Here are some more specific host and hostess gift ideas:

Bring Breakfast

Chowhound

The morning-after meal might be the last thing on your host’s mind, and much appreciated. Bring shelf-stable muffins or bagels (with a small container of cream cheese) to avoid even more crowding in the refrigerator, homemade cinnamon rolls (also acceptable if they’re from a great local bakery), or a hearty pumpkin-oat bread. Or just bring a fruit salad and hope for the best when it comes to space in the refrigerator. Try to use the smallest container necessary, possibly even a leak-proof Ziplock freezer bag. Here’s a holiday-inspired breakfast idea: Get our Pumpkin Spice Pecan Streusel Muffins recipe.

10-Inch Thanksgiving Paper Pie Boxes, 2 for $9.99 at World Market

Bring them in a charming paper box so no one has to stress about returning a muffin pan.

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Bring a Beverage

Food52

Ask what kind of wine your host would like and if it’s white, bring it chilled already—for that purpose, you can get a beautiful Uashmama’s wine bag cooler that makes for a great bonus gift. Try a riesling or gewürztraminer for whites, and a pinot noir or a light, refreshing beaujolais for reds. Then there’s always fine whiskey or bourbon, or a digestif for after dinner. You could bring a nice tea or coffee too, which your hosts can save for later if they want.

Uashmama Wine Bag & Cooler, $26-34 each on Food52

These lovely, eco-friendly wine cooling totes come in several colors and make a great bonus gift.

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Related Reading: A Sonoma Wine Pro Recommends Her 10 Favorite Bottles for Every Occasion

Bring Flowers (or Other Plants)

World Market

Flowers are a safe bet anytime. But bring them cut and in a vase you’re gifting as well (see don’ts above) so the hosts won’t have to stop what they’re doing and hunt for a vase and prep the flowers too, in addition to everything else. You could use a Mason jar if you (and they) like that homespun, shabby-chic vibe. You could even give them the gift of a flower subscription through Bloomsy Box.

Also consider an indoor potted plant that your hosts can enjoy for longer than a few days—the set of 4 ceramic animal planters above ($26.92 at World Market) come with faux succulents included, but you could replant them with the real thing. If you bring a bouquet, don’t expect your flowers to be the table’s centerpiece. That detail was likely already planned.

Bring a Homemade (or High-End Store-Bought) Gift Meant for Later

Chowhound

Give something for the hosts to enjoy later, when it’s calm and they don’t have to share. It could be a pretty candle, bottle of Champagne, or a home-preserved jar of pickled vegetables, apple butter, jam, or chutney. You could gift a decorative tin of high-end tea with a cute infuser and a mug or two, or the classic box of fancy chocolates.

The Jam Stand Sweet Wino-nion Jam, $10 on Mouth.com

This red wine-infused caramelized onion jam is a great partner to cheese and crackers or a burger and a fabulous gift.

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Related Reading: Our Favorite Friendsgiving Gifts That Aren’t Wine

Really, there are so many little thoughtful gifts you can bring. Instead of wine, how about a nice balsamic vinegar and olive combo? You could find a fancy hand soap in a pump bottle or bring a pretty new trivet. Anything handmade lends a thoughtful touch, even if it isn’t food. Nass once made and brought a set of napkins in her mom’s favorite color, embroidered with her mom’s dogs in the corner:

Courtesy of Stephanie Nass

If that’s too labor intensive, you can bring a book you think they’ll like, with a personal message inscribed inside the cover. It can be a new cookbook, or maybe a food memoir, or whatever else they’re into.

Bring a Kids’ Activity

Amazon

Parents will really appreciate this one. Bring a craft activity, game, coloring book and crayons, or some toy that could occupy the children, which will be a welcome respite for the adults when the little ones get restless and bored. A Lego set sounds like a cool idea; the lakeside cabin scene above even includes a moose!

Bring an After-Dinner Game

Amazon

Or amuse the adults and bring a party game. A grown-up card game or board game for after the meal can provide just the break people need before they’re ready to tackle dessert. For food lovers, try this Foodie Fight trivia game, which is fun for adults and kid-friendly too.

Bring What the Host Really Needs—If They’ll Tell You

Chowhound

You can always ask the hosts specifically what you can bring that would help the most, and if you’re lucky, they might actually tell you—a good cheese with crackers, maybe, or a simple side dish, or dessert. A crisp salad with a bracing bite of greens is often not included already, so that might be a good idea. Bring the components cleaned, dried, chopped, and packaged separately, especially the dressing. Whatever you bring, make sure you don’t have to do much (or any) prep work on it. You can’t impose on the counter space or the oven. Get our Watercress Salad recipe.

And Don’t Forget…

Target

If it’s a potluck, bring your own serving dish and utensils, as the hosts will likely be using all of theirs; the metallic gold serving utensils above are party-perfect and just $12 at Target. Better yet, buy a new serving dish and leave it there as part of your gift to them (unless you think they’ll stress at having to find storage space for something else).

Le Creuset Apple Pie Dish, $39.96 at Sur la Table

Bring an apple pie in this charming pan and let them know they're free to keep the dish.

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Related Reading: The Prettiest Pie Pans for Your Blue Ribbon Desserts

For more Thanksgiving tips, tricks, hacks, and recipes, check out our Ultimate Thanksgiving Guide.​

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This Shrimp and Grits Recipe Is a Southern Romance

You don’t need to tell chef Sean Brock that Southern food is among the most respected and cherished cuisines in the world. He’s well aware of that fact, thank you very much, which certainly makes sense: He’s the chef behind Husk, a revered Southern restaurant in Charleston, South Carolina, and formerly ran the kitchens at McCrady’s Restaurant, another Charleston spot. 

But what most people don’t know—and what Sean is on a mission to change—is that food from the South hardly embodies its oft-proclaimed stereotypes. Sure, there is Southern food that’s greasy and heavy and dunked in a pitcher of butter, but that merely scrapes the surface. Southern food is actually quite diverse, seasonally forward, and constantly evolving, a blending of farm-centric ingredients and the South’s storied history. 

Sean showcases that coalescence in his new cookbook “South,” a tome flush with both his favorite Southern recipes and a smattering of his own modern concoctions, too. You’ll find the likes of fried green tomatoes and crackly cornbread, grilled spring lamb slick with rhubarb butter and homey sweet potato pie. The cookbook is offset with advice straight from Sean—written as if he were simply chatting with a friend—where he walks cooks through a number of Southern cuisine-focused techniques, including preserving and canning tips, how to take care of a cast iron pan, and how to make the best butter you’ll ever have the pleasure of spreading on toast.

Related Reading: What Is the Difference Between Biscuits and Scones?

Below, learn the ins and outs of cooking a pot of greens (it’s all about one strong, umami ingredient!), and try your hand at Sean’s traditional shrimp and grits. It’s a quick and easy one-pot dish, flecked with button mushrooms, country ham, and a squeeze of lemon juice. After spooning into that first bite of grits, you’ll finally understand what Sean is preaching.

South: Essential Recipes and New Explorations, $31.49 on Amazon

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Excerpted from South by Sean Brock (Artisan Books). Copyright © 2019.

How to Cook a Pot of Greens

I cook greens a different way almost every time, depending on what I’ve found at the market, the time of year, and even whom I’m cooking them for. But at the core of my method is a simple idea: adding as little liquid as possible. It’s all about extracting the natural “potlikker” from whatever greens you’re cooking, whether collards, turnip or mustard greens, or some combination. Success starts with your pot selection: Go for one that is wider than it is tall, like a French-style rondeau, with a tight-fitting lid.

At the base of a good pot of greens is a smoky, meaty, umami-rich ingredient. This could be any number of things, from belly and jowl bacon or a ham hock to something less traditional, like dried shrimp or dried oysters. I set the pot over high heat and add a tablespoon or two of fresh rendered lard, depending on how much (if any) fat is going to render out of whatever umami ingredient I’m using. Then I cook the umami ingredient until its fat has rendered and it is evenly browned and fragrant, stirring frequently to keep it from burning and turning bitter.

Related Reading: Why Roasting Makes Vegetables Taste Sweeter

At this point, I throw in a julienned large sweet onion and cook, stirring, until the onion just starts to give way and turn translucent. Then it’s time to start adding the greens. I add three or four good handfuls of greens that have been thoroughly washed, stemmed (if the stems are tough), and cut into ribbons about an inch wide. After a quick sprinkling of salt (more for releasing liquid than seasoning), I get in there with my hands (double up on latex gloves to do this, because the pot is hot, and the gloves also make it easier to manipulate the greens; or just use a pair of tongs) and start pushing the greens into the bottom of the pot, kind of smearing them around in the onions and lard, squeezing them to encourage them to give up their flavorful juices. As they wilt slightly, I add another three or four handfuls—mixing, squeezing, pushing—along with another sprinkling of salt, and I repeat the process until I’ve added all the greens.

Peter Frank Edwards

By now, the greens should have released quite a bit of liquid, and the cooking process becomes more like a braise. If it seems that the greens are being stubborn and there isn’t quite enough liquid to cook them, I add moisture to the pan in the form of beer. You need to be careful here, though. You want to add it only a splash at a time, just enough liquid to encourage a little more steam in the pot, or you run the risk of adding too much liquid and diluting that flavor you’ve worked so hard for.

When all the greens are wilted, I reduce the heat to low, cover the pot, and braise the greens. A tight-fitting lid is really important here. It keeps all that hard-earned natural potlikker in the pot, and the greens cook faster than they would just boiling away uncovered. From this point on, I check the greens every few minutes, making sure I don’t overcook them. How far to take them depends on the greens, the time of year (late-season collards, for example, can be pretty tough), and how they’re going to be served. I prefer greens at the moment when they are just tender, before they lose that vegetal flavor, that vibrancy. When cooked this way, they have a lot more to offer from a nutritional standpoint too.

The last thing to do is a final seasoning, if necessary. Simplicity reigns supreme here. The greens ought to be just salty enough, as I’ve added a little salt with each addition of greens to the pot, but I taste to make sure. Then I finish them off with a little cider vinegar for acidity and hot sauce for bite. With patience, effort, and time, you can cook a pot of greens that captures those natural flavors that too often get diluted or hidden, giving you a dish that warms the body and the soul.

Cuisinart 622-36H Chef's Classic Nonstick 14-Inch Skillet, $35.32 on Amazon

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Traditional Shrimp and Grits Recipe

This is shrimp and grits at its simplest. It’s a quick, easy, one-pan dish, and it is the only way I cook shrimp and grits at home. The recipe is a tribute to the late chef Bill Neal, of Crook’s Corner in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. He was one of the first chefs to celebrate the dish and elevate it into the realm of the restaurant. Bill’s vision made it possible for chefs, including me, to serve shrimp and grits in restaurants all over the South. Making this dish is my chance to pay back that debt.

Traditional Shrimp and Grits

Makes: Serves 6 as an appetizer, 4 as a main course

Ingredients

• ½ cup all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus more for seasoning
• ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, plus more for seasoning
• 1 teaspoon canola oil
• 2 ounces country ham, preferably Bob Wood’s, cut into ¼-inch dice
• 1 pound 21–25-count shrimp, preferably local, peeled and deveined
• 4 ounces small button mushrooms, washed, dried, and quartered
• ¼ cup thinly sliced scallions
• ½ cup vegetable stock
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, diced
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1 recipe Stovetop Grits, just cooked and still warm

Instructions

1. Combine the flour, salt, and pepper in a shallow bowl, mix well, and set aside.
2. Heat the canola oil in a large skillet over medium heat, add the ham, and cook, stirring frequently, until the fat has rendered and the ham is crisp, about 3 minutes.
3. Lightly dredge the shrimp in the seasoned flour, shaking off any excess, and carefully add them to the hot skillet. Cook until lightly browned on the first side, 1 to 2 minutes. Turn the shrimp, add the mushrooms and scallions, and cook until the other side of the shrimp is lightly browned and the mushrooms and scallions begin to soften, about 2 minutes. Add the vegetable stock, bring to a simmer, and cook until it has reduced by half and the shrimp are just cooked through, about 2 minutes. Stir in the butter and lemon juice and season lightly with salt and pepper.
4. Give the grits a good stir, then divide them among warmed bowls. Spoon the shrimp and mushrooms, with their broth, on top.

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