Reminiscing about ’90s snacks certainly isn’t as fun as eating them, but it’s a close second. How we long for the days of after-school binges on Dunkaroos, Lunchables, Bagel Bites, and Gushers. Sure, they all probably contained trace amounts of FDA-banned ingredients like dyes and trans fat, but to millennials like us, they were so much more than sugar-laden treats with funny names; they were our childhoods.
We’re diving deep into the memory vault to remind you about nine treats whose souls didn’t get proper recognition upon their untimely departures. May you relive the deliciousness and may these unusual forays into culinary creativity RIP.
SnackWell’s Devil Food Cookie Cakes
Nabisco
Who remembers eating these and thinking “Wow! Healthy food taste great! I’m totally going to fit into my Limited Too spaghetti strap now!”? Well, not me, but I do remember my sister saying something of the sort.
Pop Qwiz Popcorn
Pop Secret
We’re not sure if Pop Secret was trying to be ironic by misspelling the word “qwiz” or if they were simply trying to integrate the word “wiz” into their branding (#fail), but everything from the popcorn‘s horrible name to its over-the-top commercial is about as ’90s as a Tamagotchi-wearing Furby playing Pretty Pretty Princess at an *NSYNC concert. And we miss it SO MUCH.
Minute Maid Juice Bars
Minute Maid
There was something about the ice texture in these pyramid-esque treats that separated it from the competition. It’s like they made freezer burn taste good and almost slushie-esque. Now that we’re adults, we can only imagine that these would pair best with alcohol. And since these are still in production, we’re not afraid try it. Hand us a bottle of something, would you?
Yoplait Trix Yogurt
Yoplait
Silly Rabbit, Trix are apparently for kids who are terrified of actual fruit. If you weren’t eating the cereal, you were noshing on this super, super sweet stuff. Plus, neon colors always meant that it was going to be delicious.
Orbitz
Orbitz
You drank this because it looked like a lava lamp, not because it tasted good. And since this was billed as a “drink from the future,” the future is now and we’d like it back in our lives, please.
Dinosaur Eggs Oatmeal
General Mills
This was probably our first introduction to science, TBH. How did the eggs disappear to reveal sprinkle dino children? Also, having a T-Rex and triceratops on the box—literally salivating over the idea of eating their babies—is quite disturbing as an adult.
P.B. Crisps
Planters
If there’s one food on this list that could have withstood the test of time, it’s P.B. Crisps. How, in America, were crunchy, peanut buttery graham cookies considered a failure? Our standards are too high or there’s just too much competition. Shameful, we say!
String Thing
Betty Crocker
Fruit by the Foot and Fruit Roll-Ups got all the love and attention, but it was interactive Fruit String Thring that deserved the accolades. Each paper sheet was a work of art. We do remember; however, being quite agitated over ladybug-sized pieces of the candy in the more intricate designs. Like, what’s the point? A treat for our Polly Pocket?
Sprinkle Sprangles Cereal
General Mills
Frankly, Cookie Crisp and Oreo O’s had nothing on this sprinkle-heavy concoction. It reminded us of Christmas and nothing is ever wrong with eating dessert for breakfast. They could have done without the second-rate Genie, though. Nobody comes close to Robin Williams, no matter what they’re selling.
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